OOM: workshopping with Charles.

[runningred]

{{from here}}

Jay's workshop is an interesting mess of bike parts and tools. He has a couple of old couches and a cooler full of beer too. "I know it's weird but being down here is almost as private as anywhere in Milliways."

Comments

[runningred]

He paces for a bit before offering Charles a beer. He flops down into one of the chair. "What am I attracted to dangerous people?"

[balancingminds]

"What do you feel when you're with them that you don't with others?"

As he asks, he sits down to try and be a spot with a good view of Jay's face.

[runningred]

"I'm stronger than I look. I was trained by the greatest detective of my age, the most skilled martial artists, the most dangerous assassins. Being with someone who as strong as I am... it's different."

[balancingminds]

"Different can mean good or bad. Tell me details. What do you like about being with someone who can kill you or hurt you? Do you think you deserve to be hurt?"

He worries about Erik that way, that he wants only sees himself as a vehicle towards revenge and not life.

[runningred]

"The thing with Eric is that he's powerful but not dangerous ... he's capable of killing me but he won't. He can't because we're here. The rules are pretty clear. He needs my consent or the security team would hunt him down. I know I can enjoy living on the edge with him but... safe. I trust his control but I enjoy the fact it could be a lie. That only the rules are keeping him from taking it further." He chuckles and reaches for a beer. "And the sex is amazing."

He shakes his head. "I don't think I deserve to be hurt. But sure as hell get off on it!"

[balancingminds]

"Do you feel that safety with others that you've been with? You know it could be more dangerous but you trust them?"

The getting off on is important and Charles is not going to think about Jay's image of Eric, as that's not helpful. Some of his wondering passes through his face, he hasn't had many chances to experiment in his life with sexuality as its complicated in his time.

[runningred]

"No. Not with Talia. I knew there was a better than good chance she was going to kill me that night but that's kinda why I was there. Talia very literally owned me. Our last night was... about other things. Sex was just a way of saying goodbye." That part of his life is far, far more complicated.

He tries to keep most of that away from Charles because of the pain behind it but there are flashes - Talia's hard body and olive skin against the white sheets. The power of her. A hunter in human form.

[balancingminds]

"Jay, no one should own you,"

They're potent flashes and Charles grabs a beer.

[runningred]

"You know how I said I was dead? Woke up in my grave? When, it fucked me up. Hardcore. I came back brain-damaged and crazy. Talia found me and fixed me using powers only her family can control. For that, she owned me. I worked for her and her father till that night. That night was about ending that arrangement. Not killing me was her way of saying my debt was paid." He sheds his shirt to show the three deep knife scars, each just shy of a vital organ.

[balancingminds]

Charles reaches out and gently touches each scar,

"Do you feel as messed up now or have your feelings changed?"

[runningred]

Jay closes his eyes for a moment, enjoying the touch and not hiding that from Charles. He won't lie to Charles or deny that he finds him very attractive but Charles is taken and that's a line Jay won't cross.

"I know I'm still a mess. Talia healed the physical damage, put back together the broken parts of my brain but there are still things about that that mess me up. I don't sleep right from the memories. I still hold a lot of hate over it. Working for Talia gave me skills I'll need to avenge myself one day." That rage Erik holds, Jay has it too, if forced down further. "I'm not ready to deal with that yet. Having here to hide helps."

And he is hiding. From his world, from himself. "Here I can be just Jay."

[balancingminds]

"What are you ready to deal with? And I can help you to sleep,"

Its one of his skills, he's glad to use as dreams are frightening places to be lost.

[runningred]

"Not my death. Not by a long shot. There are things I have to do before I'm ready to ready to deal with that." Including put down the monster who murdered him. And he may well have thought that loud enough for Charles to hear.

"Thanks. I could do with that. It's not so bad here. I've got friends who have... other gifts to help me sleep. And I've got to admit, being fucked senseless helps."

[balancingminds]

He does and doesn't say anything, he knows how powerful a motivator revenge can be,

"I can see that but this will be another option that doesn't require a vampire."

[runningred]

"The sex with Eric... it isn't just about getting a good night's sleep. The sex, the blood... it feels good. Charles, it feels amazing. And at least with him, I know where I stand. It's honest. Does that make sense?"

[balancingminds]

"It does, honesty matters. I'm an older brother and as my sister says act older than I am too. I tend to worry because I want everything to be better than it is."

[runningred]

"We all want everything to be better, simpler than it is."

"You've told me about her. Raven, right? How's she doing?" It's easier not to talk about himself for a moment.

[balancingminds]

"Good, she doesn't have just me anymore. We're not alone."

[runningred]

"That's gotta help? Having other people around who get it." He takes a deep sip of his drink. "How are things with you and Erik? If you don't mind me asking."

[balancingminds]

"Fairly well, we're still learning each other but its a pleasure."

[runningred]

"I love that stage. When everything is new and you're learning what makes the other person sigh." Jay smiles wistfully, missing that feeling.

A flash of another woman - pale skinned and lithe as a cat with cropped black hair and laughing eyes. Laughing and dancing in the rain on a rooftop, laughing warmly even as she bend to kiss him, clearly somewhat taller than Jay. Or that Jay was at the time.

[balancingminds]

"Yes, and laugh. Its one of my favorite parts as well. Who's she?"

He likes to learn more of Jay's past, at least what he'll share of it.

[runningred]

"Ah." Jay ducks his head. "Didn't realise I was letting that one through."

He takes a long sip of his beer. "That's Selena. She was... my first. Not sex-wise, I lost my virginity to a John when I was 13 but she was my first adult friend, my first crush and that night in the rain, she was the first one to ever show me what making love should feel like."

[balancingminds]

"That's a nice sort of first to have,"

He wishes the rest were nicer but Jay's life hasn't been a simple or easy one.

[runningred]

"She came up the same as me - on the street. She understood where I was coming from, more than my mentor ever did." He smiles at the memory of the pair of them sitting on a rooftop, talking for hours. "She had a... complicated relationship with my mentor but she never treated me like a child. That night was... her gift for me. One I'll always treasure."