(no subject)

[runningred]

{From here}

Jay leads them into his room. It's comfortably large and mostly taken up by benches and a decadent looking bed.

He pulls a fold out massage table out from under a bench and starts wiping things down to create a clean space to work. "Ragnar, I think it's best you go first. Have you decided where you want the receiver?"

Comments

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar moves into the touch, giving a pleased little purring moan as he shifts his muscles underneath Athelstan's hands.

[athelstanthescribe]

If it pleases him, Athelstan will keep doing it, but he's back in the place where he doesn't care on his own account what they do or don't do.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar notices, of course, so he just keeps kissing Athelstan, holding him close and covering him with his body, warm and firm.

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan kisses him back. When they come up for air, "Unless you want more, let's just stick to this."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"We can," he says. "I like it. I love you."

That makes everything worth the while.

[athelstanthescribe]

"And I, you."

Not wanting it to sound an automatic response, he puts every scrap of feeling he can dredge up into it.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"And that's more important than the rest of it," Ragnar says.

[athelstanthescribe]

"It's important", he agrees, "but so are your wants."

And they both know how much Ragnar likes sex (and how much Athestan used to).

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"What I really want..." Ragnar starts out, then stops, because he feels it sounds sappy.

Too sappy for even this moment, and, strangely, terribly demanding.

Because it's probably something Athelstan can't give him.

[athelstanthescribe]

"What do you want?" he asks. "Tell me."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"For you to feel good," Ragnar says. "The rest is just sex."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Ragnar." He sits up, but his head is bowed. "Most of the moments I've had when I really have felt good, have been with you."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"And if sex doesn't make you feel good any more at the moment, because of what happened," Ragnar says, sitting up with him and putting his arm around Athelstan, "then I'd rather do whatever else makes you feel good, one way or another, than just sex."

Pause.

"Because you."

That's not a sentence, but Ragnar hopes Athelstan understands nevertheless.

[athelstanthescribe]

He half-smiles - and yes, he does.

"I'd let you even if I'm not feeling it, you know that. But it wouldn't be the same, and I don't know if it will be again."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"I can wait until it is," Ragnar says.

[athelstanthescribe]

"If you can't, you can go to someone else. Aslaug or Sinric or - anyone. I won't mind."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"Sinric, here," Ragnar says. "That's different -- he has his place with us, and I sleep with him because he's Sinric. And one day, we will all be together again and share our bodies."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan looks away.

"If I can."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar leans in to kiss his cheek. "One day, you probably will."

[athelstanthescribe]

"I can't see it." He flops down on the bed. "I think I want to sleep."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar lies down beside him.

"Put your head on my shoulder, if you want to."

He opens his arms to Athelstan, and pulls at the furs to cover them both.

[athelstanthescribe]

He does, curling into Ragnar's arms. Closeness is still something he can take comfort in, at least.

He closes his eyes, more in the hope of sleep than anything.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar wraps himself around him, warm and solid, breathing evenly.

[athelstanthescribe]

It all helps. And so does the feel of Ragnar's heartbeat.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Which is strong and calm and steady.