Here, Jay. Have a prime example of the number one reason no SHIELD agent has yet given Simmons a job remotely resembling field work.

She can't come up with a story on the fly to save her life.

"Ah..." She can't say 'motorcycle' because that's daft and the elaborate story she thinks up involving three international murders and a case of ebola is just ridiculous and oh lord he's still waiting for an answer and she doesn't know what to say.

"Well..."